The Facts... without the Lecture


If you are planning on scoring, kissing or meeting someone it’s important to think about consent. Consent means that you are both ok with what is happening. Neither of you are being pushed into doing something that you don’t want. Either of you can say “STOP” at any stage and your decision will be respected.

Some questions you might like to ask yourself when thinking about consent: 

  • What would I be OK with?
  • Do I really want to do this or am I being pressured by others?
  • How far am I willing to go?
  • Will it make me happy?
  • If I am uncomfortable with what is happening am I able to say “STOP”?
  • If someone says “Yes” “No” or “Stop” to me can I accept that?
  • I understand that “No” means “No” and only “Yes” means “Yes”?
  • Will I be OK about it when I see that person again or when I go to school next week?
  •  Am I doing it so I can boast to my friend or do I really enjoy what I am doing?

Consent and choice

Consent also means that you have a choice. Just because you did something already doesn’t mean that you have to do it again or every time you meet someone. You might decide I did that but I am not really ready or I didn’t like it so I am not going to do it again. It is OK to make a different choice.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend may make different choices too so you both need to talk about your choices.  Forcing someone to participate in something they do not want is sexual assault.  Contact you local Rape Crisis Centre if you have been sexually assaulted and need support.

How do I know if someone else consents?

The short answer is that you don’t unless you ask them.  This could be awkward but it’s important to check in that they are OK. If you both respect each other then you will both be more relaxed and it will be more fun

Things you might ask are:

  •  Are you ok with this?
  • Are you ok if we take it further?
  • Do you want to slow down?

They might say “Yes” or “No” or even “Maybe” answer.  If your answer or your boyfriend/ girlfriends answer is a maybe it’s important that you wait until both of you are ready. Remember only “Yes means Yes”.

Some times people think they can read body language and the things they look for are

  • Good eye contact
  • Good response
  • Your boyfriend or girlfriend is as enthusiastically  involved as you are

They are not into it if they are doing any of the following

  • If they say “STOP” or “NO”
  • If they are struggling or trying to push you away
  • If they are  frozen to the spot
  • If they are not really responding to your advances
  • If you have push them into doing something

Remember we are not mind readers so it’s important to check in that everything is OK

The Age of Consent for sexual intercourse for heterosexual and homosexual sex is 17 for boys and girls.