The Facts... without the Lecture
B4uDecide.ie is closing down at the end of May 2024.
Alternative sources of relationships and sexuality information and resources:
- For 16-25 year olds: SpunOut.ie is an information provision website, including relationships and sexuality issues.
- For 17+ year olds: Sexualwellbeing.ie is the HSE website that provides information and resources on a wide range of information such as consent, contraception, sexual transmitted infections, vaccinations and unplanned pregnancy
- For parents: The HSE’s ‘Making the ‘Big Talk’ many small talks’ series of booklets to help parents and children talk about relationships and sexuality is available online, and to order free of charge from healthpromotion.ie. HSE funded RSE workshops are available at npc.ie and ifpa.ie
- For teachers: Junior Cycle SPHE Resources are available to support the new 2023 SPHE specification , including the Relationship and Sexuality strand.
- For youthworkers: HSE funded training on relationship and sexuality issues is available at REAL U | Foroige and Tailored Training Courses – National Youth Council of Ireland
Leanne’s Story
I was only gone 17 two weeks when I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. I went to the doctors to get the bar in my arm and the doc said because I was a week late she had to do a test. I wasn’t worried at all; I just thought I was late over exam stress. I’ll never forget hearing Leanne you’re pregnant like an echo and just going numb and starting to cry, shake and panic. I’d only had a boyfriend for six months. We were just stupid and didn’t use contraception. I never had proper information about contraception and no talks at home. I never felt so scared in all my life. I thought it was a dream and just had a pain in the pit of my stomach for about a week.
Telling the Ma and Da wasn’t too bad because they thought I was joking. When they realised I wasn’t, I was made feel bad about it and told I’d have to leave school and work to support us. Other than thinking what if I die, my main worries were how would I live? What would I survive on? What if I get kicked out?
I wanted to keep my baby, I knew I didn’t want an abortion no matter what I had to face. Thankfully my school got me involved with the Teen Parent Support Programme in Doras Buί who gave me all the information I needed and just made me feel at ease about everything. I always wanted to be a young Ma but definitely not that young. I don’t think I would have got pregnant if there was more information out there. I had a rough pregnancy with pre-eclampsia and an emergency section 5 weeks early. But when my tiny 3 pound 8 ounce baby finally arrived when I was 17, I fell so in love with him I’d face the world to have a life with him and provide for him. I went back to school after 4 weeks, completed my leaving cert and a course and now am a working Ma to a healthy six year old. Thinking back to the sleepless nights up until he was 2, his colic and reflux and then up early for school, makes me wonder how I ever did it.
I am proud of myself. Being a young Ma on your own with little help is tough especially with my boy going through tests for ADHD, he can be a handful. Dealing with a dad you don’t get along with makes the situation a million times more difficult. Looking back it is a scary struggle and I’m in no rush for more kids but I wouldn’t change having him for the world and he’s the best little thing in my life.