I don’t really know why I did it. I know if I could take it back, I would have waited longer. I was 15 the first time I had sex. I was 17 when I got pregnant.
I found out when my period was late and I was getting questions from my mum and stuff. So I took and test and found out then. I was shocked because there were exams coming up and everything else, so I just thought I was stressed. I never thought I was pregnant, didn’t think it for one minute. I kept saying to myself, no I can’t be pregnant, I just can’t. So I kept trying to put it to the back of my mind. When I’d had exams before I didn’t have my period for months just because of the pressure and wanting to do well in them, so I when I missed my period this time, I just thought it was the same thing again – it was that time of year – Christmas exams.
So I went and told mum and dad. They were supportive but angry and upset at the same time. Dad left the room. Mum was like “it’s going to be ok but what the hell?”
Then we had to go and tell his mum. He wasn’t able to say the words. I had to do it. Her reaction was basically “you have ruined this girl’s life”.
There are days it’s difficult and days it’s ok. My little boy could just have a tantrum and he could carry that on all day. He could mess up everything you’ve tidied. Then there’s other days where he’ll be smiling and laughing and it brings you joy. There are days that are hard and days that are good, but you just have to take it all as it comes.
Don’t think having a child is going to be easy. For the first few months you’ll be up at 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning, feeding him and changing him and all the rest. It is hard. If you want to dress someone up and that – go out and buy a doll. Don’t bring a child into the world if you don’t want it.